Caught red handed
My daughter caught me doing my 'dad dance' in the kitchen while making coffee this morning. She said 'Please tell me nobody else saw that.' I said 'Dont worry, your embarrassment i
HHugh S.146 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
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My daughter caught me doing my 'dad dance' in the kitchen while making coffee this morning. She said 'Please tell me nobody else saw that.' I said 'Dont worry, your embarrassment i
I wore socks with sandals to the grocery store on purpose because my teenagers were with me. You should have seen their faces. They walked about 10 feet away from me the entire tri
My kid said I'm like a superhero but my power is ruining songs by singing the wrong lyrics really loud. I said that's the best compliment I've ever gotten and immediately started b
I told him I like to know what I'm getting into. He said 'Dad you never read the manual for anything.' I said 'Exactly, and look how I turned out.' He walked away shaking his head.
Waiter asked how our meal was and I said 'So good I forgot to pretend to enjoy my kids company.' My wife kicked me under the table but the waiter laughed. That guy gets it.
Told my son the scale was broken because it said I gained 15 pounds. He said 'Dad thats probably not how scales work.' I said 'Well clearly this one is defective so we're donating
My 6 year old pointed at Fruity Pebbles and said 'Dad can we get the colorful rocks?' I said 'Sure buddy, rocks for breakfast sounds perfectly normal and not at all concerning.' My
Just took one fry from my sons plate and he absolutely lost it. I explained the dad tax is non negotiable. He asked what the 'mom tax' is. I said 'Usually my sanity but thats more
I told him I like to keep a dad of old jokes just in case.
Went to get milk this morning and somehow ended up in every single aisle. Got home and wife asked why I was gone so long for one item. I told her I was doing research. Really I was
Caught my 7 year old pouring milk before the cereal this morning. I said son that's not how we do things in this house. He looked me dead in the eye and said 'Dad you're the real c
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that's not a real reason. I said well you're adopted so technically I don't have to explain myself lol. He did not find that funny but I
TSA agent asked if I had any liquids in my carry on. I said yeah my son and he just stared at me. Wife was not amused. Totally worth it though.
My 4 year old just told me a joke: Why did the chicken go to school? To get egg-ducated. I have created a monster. He's already better at this than me and I'm not sure how to feel
Dentist asked my son if he's been flossing. He said only on special occasions. I immediately said must be why he doesn't floss much then, special occasions are rare. Everyone laugh
To get his son's college fund. Just kidding he spent it all on legos. But seriously I tried this joke on my 7 year old this morning and he just stared at me like I was the worst pe
So my 4 year old asked me really loud in the produce section why that lady had a baby in her belly. She was just standing next to us, not even pregnant. My kid was pointing at her
There is no pain quite like 3am bathroom trip in the dark and your bare foot finding a single lego brick. It's like a medieval torture device designed by toy companies. My wife was
I said 'silly is my first name' and she just stared at me and said 'no it's daddy.' Absolutely wrecked me. She's only 4 and already delivering better comebacks than my friends.
I told him it's a fatherly duty. He said 'that's not funny' and I said 'I know, that's why they're dad jokes.' He groaned so hard I thought he'd pull something. Mission accomplishe