My kid asked me why I always make dad jokes
I said because I'm a dad. He said that doesn't make sense. I said exactly.
BBenny R.198 views
54
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
677 threads
I said because I'm a dad. He said that doesn't make sense. I said exactly.
Told him if he spills milk on the couch one more time I'm going to have to ground him. He said 'that's not fair, you spill coffee on here all the time.' Kid's got a point. Can't ar
My 4 year old came up to me with a serious face and said 'Dad I have to tell you something important.' I'm thinking oh no what happened. He goes 'I'm not funny like you but I'm lea
Tried to do a whole bit about how I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me. Kid cut me off and said 'dad that's literally on your chin right now.' No punchline needed I gu
My 8 year old asked why I always make puns and I said 'because I'm on a roll' while eating bread. She groaned so hard but then couldn't stop giggling. Also told them 'I'm reading a
Just caught myself using the phrase 'back in my day' to my teenager about cell phones. I'm only 42. It's happening. I'm officially that dad now. Next thing you know I'll be asking
My daughter asked why the cashier was scanning things and I said "She's checking our prices" and my son goes "I thought you were checking YOUR prices Dad because you always say we
I told him I was looking for the part where it says how to be a good dad. He said "Dad those are just suggestions aren't they?" Kid's got me figured out already.
He wanted to make some liquid assets for his kids college fund. My 8 year old didn't get it but my wife gave me that look.
His grades were pretty rough so I said 'These test scores are so low they need their own zipcode.' He did not laugh. My wife laughed though which is basically the same thing.
I told her 'Because being a dad is exhausting.' She said 'No it's not, you just lay in bed.' I got roasted by a preschooler. She's not wrong though and that somehow makes it worse.
He wrote 'Dad tells the same jokes over and over again. I think he has short term memory loss. Should we be worried?' Kid's got jokes. Where do you think he learned it from?
I told him I wanted to know how to use the dishwasher properly. He said "Dad, you're the dishwasher." Absolutely destroyed me. Kid's got jokes now.
Took my 4 year old to the store and he pointed at Frosted Flakes and said "Dad those are GRRRREAT" in the Tony voice. I almost fell over laughing. He's been doing it every time we
I was in the garage "organizing" for like 3 hours and my son asked what I was doing. I said "Alpaca-betical order" while holding like 20 things and he just stared at me. My wife he
Caught myself saying 'is it hot in here or is it just me' while sitting directly under the AC unit I set to freezing. My kids looked at me like I lost my mind. That's when I knew t
Was making pancakes this morning with headphones in and apparently my full body interpretive dance to old school hip hop is worse than I thought. My teenager walked in and just sai
So my son goes 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' and I'm like 'why buddy?' He says 'because it felt crumbly!' Then he just loses it giggling at his own joke. I mean it was
Nothing, it just waved. My kids groan every single time but I can't stop telling them.
Because it felt crumbly. I told this one at my son's soccer practice and got some looks but one other dad laughed so that counts as a win in my book.