Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
346 threads
He came home upset about something at school. I could tell he wanted to talk about it but was being all moody. So I started rattling off the worst jokes I could think of. By the th
My 6 year old was eating cereal and I said "looks like you're having a bowl-d morning." My wife just stared at me. My daughter laughed though, which means I'm winning at something
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that's not a good reason. I said you're right, it's a GREAT reason. He groaned so hard I thought he pulled something. Mission accomplishe
I was just cheering and made a pun about the goalie. My 10 year old literally said "Dad please stop" from the field. Worth it. The other dads laughed. That's my people now.
Took my kids to the grocery store and my 5 year old asked why there were so many choices of cereal. I said son, life is about options. He immediately asked if he could get Froot Lo
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that's not a good reason. I said well it's a good dad reason. He groaned so loud the neighbors heard him.
Because he heard someone had stolen a base!
So my 7 year old had his first soccer game today and he spent most of it picking dandelions in the outfield. When the ball actually came near him he panicked and kicked it backward
Wife was frustrated because the kids wouldn't settle down for bed so I told them 'You better get some sleep or you'll be tired tomorrow' and when they didn't listen I said 'More li
I need some new material because my kids are calling me out on repeating the same ones. What are your staples? I've been leaning on 'I'm reading a book on the history of glue - can
So my son learned what a dad joke is yesterday and now he's been making them all day. Most don't even make sense but he laughs so hard he falls over. Just told me 'Why did the chic
Tried to make a joke during dinner while running on like 4 hours of sleep from being up with the baby all night. Made absolutely zero sense and everyone just stared at me. Wife sai
Kid asks 'Dad why are you looking at that paper?' I said 'It's a map, helps me find places.' He goes 'Oh, I just ask Siri, she's smarter.' Well apparently I've been replaced by an
Took my 3 kids on a road trip and we stopped at a gas station bathroom. The smell. The mystery puddles. A toilet paper dispenser that had clearly seen better days. I stood there th
My 2 year old took a massive dump and I said 'Wow buddy that's impressive!' and my wife just shakes her head laughing. Then I realized I'm out here genuinely celebrating a kid's bo
My son says 'Dad I'm hungry' and I hit him with 'Hi Hungry, I'm Dad.' He groans SO hard. My wife is not amused. I'm getting better at this comedy thing though, I can feel it.
I started telling my daughter a joke at dinner and by the time I got to the setup she had already guessed the punchline, asked me a random question about her friend, and made me pr
He said 'Dad, your jokes aren't even funny.' I looked at him and said 'I know, that's why they're called dad jokes. When you become a dad they automatically become funny.' He groan
So I'm at the grocery store with my 6 month old, just a quick 5 minute trip. Of course he decides to have the most catastrophic diaper situation I've ever witnessed. It's up the ba
I said because my phone died and I needed directions. He goes "Dad that's not how maps work, you have to be looking at it the whole time." Then I crashed into a mailbox. Just kiddi