Got caught doing dad dance in the kitchen
Was making pancakes this morning with headphones in and apparently my full body interpretive dance to old school hip hop is worse than I thought. My teenager walked in and just sai
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
681 threads
Was making pancakes this morning with headphones in and apparently my full body interpretive dance to old school hip hop is worse than I thought. My teenager walked in and just sai
So my son goes 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' and I'm like 'why buddy?' He says 'because it felt crumbly!' Then he just loses it giggling at his own joke. I mean it was
Nothing, it just waved. My kids groan every single time but I can't stop telling them.
Because it felt crumbly. I told this one at my son's soccer practice and got some looks but one other dad laughed so that counts as a win in my book.
Nobody told me I'd become a joke-telling machine. Every situation is an opportunity now. Kid spills juice? 'Looks like someone's having a little meltdown.' My wife is threatening t
Nobody tells you that you'll spend 20 minutes trying to convince a 5yo that chocolate milk isn't a vegetable because it comes from a cow. Or that you'll have entire conversations a
We literally spend 9 months waiting for our kids to arrive, then the rest of our lives waiting for them to leave. It's the ultimate dad joke that life plays on us.
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He didn't laugh. I guess you could say my joke... didn't have a son.
She's 3 and couldn't remember so I told the cashier 'I guess you could say she's still loading... she'll have her name in a few years.' Wife was not amused but I thought it was gol
Took my 6 year old to the grocery store and he pointed at Lucky Charms and goes 'Dad why do they call it Lucky Charms when there's no lucky charms in there?' I had to sit down. Tha
My wife was filming the kids and I walked by and said 'What are you guys doing?' My son goes 'Dad you literally just watched us set this up 10 minutes ago' and I said 'I know but I
I told her it's because laughter is the best medicine. She said 'Dad that's not true, medicine is the best medicine.' I guess I walked right into that one. She's definitely my daug
Made pancakes shaped like dinosaurs. My 4 year old asked what kind they were. I said 'Pancakeosaurus Rex.' Entire table lost it. My oldest even said 'that's actually pretty good Da
I think I'm getting replaced. She goes 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I'm like 'why?' and she says 'because it felt crumbly!' She's copying my style but she nailed the
I went with 'your mom's belly' and he goes 'yeah but how did it get there?' I said 'uhhhhh daddy put it there' and he looked so confused. Then he asked 'how does the baby fit?' and
Wife was going through baby names and said 'what about Aaron' and I immediately said 'A-A-Ron?' in the Key and Peele voice. She did not think it was as funny as I did. Apparently t
I told the other dads waiting in line 'I told my son he was drawing a fence so badly that it was un-be-leaf-able' and my 7 year old literally walked away from me. He would not get
Kid: Dad why did you marry mom? Me: Because I love her. Kid: No dad, you married her because grandma said you had to. Wife is still laughing at me. I've been owned by a first grade
Because he heard someone had stolen a base! My kids literally groaned so hard they went silent. Mission accomplished.
Changed my newborn's diaper this morning and somehow it went UP his back, DOWN both legs, and INTO his hair. My wife asked how I managed that. I said I didn't know the diaper came