The cereal aisle incident
My 3 year old asked why the Lucky Charms box said they were magically delicious. I told him it was because the leprechaun had a really good marketing team. My wife did not find thi
DDerek P.204 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
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My 3 year old asked why the Lucky Charms box said they were magically delicious. I told him it was because the leprechaun had a really good marketing team. My wife did not find thi
He asked if I was going to fall over. I've never been more proud and more disappointed at the same time. He's got the dad joke genes.
Because he heard someone had stolen a base! My kids groaned so hard when I said this one yesterday. Mission accomplished.
Wife walked in on him with potting soil all over his face and asked 'What are you doing?!' I said 'Looks like he's trying to get down to the root of the problem.' She did not laugh
Monday: 'Dad why do we call it a building if it's already built?' Tuesday: 'If hot dogs aren't made of dogs, why are they called hot dogs?' Wednesday: 'Why isn't cheese called milk
He said 'Dad, is it because you wanted me to go far in life?' I told him 'No buddy, it's because when you were born you were only 19 inches. I needed a unit of measurement.'
Coach asked why my son wasn't paying attention and I said he must have had his head in the clouds. Then I pointed up and said "Well actually it's mostly water vapor and nitrogen."
My 4 year old spilled juice all over himself and I said "Well that's not how you juice up for the day" and my wife just shook her head at me while cleaning him up. I'll take the wi
You're gonna have a LOAF of fun! My 6yo groaned so hard he physically turned away from me. Mission accomplished.
I told him I was just checking to make sure I was doing it right. He goes, "Dad, you never read instructions." Busted. He's not wrong though, I've assembled like 12 IKEA things and
My 6yo asked 'Dad why is the sky blue?' Without even thinking I said 'Because if it was green we'd all think we were underwater.' He looked at me dead serious and said 'That doesn'
I told him it's in my job description. He said 'Your job is dad?' and I said 'No, but I'm working towards it.' He groaned so hard I thought he'd hurt himself. Mission accomplished.
I was trying to explain why it's funny when you call a sleepy bull a 'bulldozer' and she just shook her head and left the room. Pretty sure she's regretting this whole marriage thi
He goes 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I say 'I dunno buddy why?' He says 'Because it felt crumbly!' Absolutely terrible joke but I've never laughed harder in my life.
I was at Target with my 5 year old and she points at this expensive baby stroller and goes 'Daddy that's nice but I already have legs.' Loudest laugh I've heard in the whole store
I used to make fun of my own dad for his terrible jokes. Now I'm sitting at breakfast saying stuff like 'Cereal? More like serious business!' and my kids are groaning while also ki
Seriously why is a simple fart noise the most hilarious thing in the universe to a 4 year old? I'm over here looking stupid making fart noises and my son is literally crying laughi
A FREE MAN. Kidding, obviously. But seriously I told this joke last night and got blank stares from everyone. My dad laughed though so I'm calling it a win. The torch has been pass
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that doesn't make sense. I said exactly, that's why it's funny. He just stared at me and walked away. Pretty sure I nailed it.
Told my son I was reading a book about anti-gravity. He asked if it was good and I said I couldn't put it down. I absolutely lost it. My wife didn't even look up from her phone. My