My kid asked me why I'm reading the instructions
I told him I'm not reading them, I'm just looking at the pictures. He said "Dad that's not how you read." I said "Exactly, that's why I'm looking at the pictures."
TTony G.169 views
32
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
346 threads
I told him I'm not reading them, I'm just looking at the pictures. He said "Dad that's not how you read." I said "Exactly, that's why I'm looking at the pictures."
I said yeah I'll be happy to help. So I sat at the counter and gave her encouragement while she cooked. She did not appreciate my contributions.
He said knock knock. I said who's there. He said interrupting cow. I started to say interrupting cow w... and he screamed MOO before I could finish. Kid's got timing. He's going pl
A gummy bear. My kids groaned so hard when I said this at breakfast. The 10yo put his head in his hands. But I saw the 6yo trying not to laugh so I won.
I said hey buddy I've got this great chemistry pun for you. He's like dad no. And I'm like but I promise it's got all the right elements. My wife literally told me to stop.
I told her because I'm tired. She goes dad you're always tired. And I said yeah that's what being a dad is all about. She just shook her head like I was the dumbest person alive. S
I said 'I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.' My 7yo and 9yo just stared at me like I was crazy. My wife didnt even look up from her phone. But I kno
Because he wanted to play touch football with his son. Took me a second to realize how that sounded when I said it out loud at work lol
I told my kids that anyone who complains about dinner has to eat cereal instead. That night I made something weird that even I didnt really like. Started to complain and my 10yo ju
Yeah so apparently talking to the dog about how I'm 'tired of all these dad jokes because they're pup-ular' is weird? She said I've hit a new low but honestly the dog seemed into i
One of the other parents asked what position my kid plays. I said 'mostly on the bench.' His mom laughed, his dad did not. Later I asked my son if he knew what I meant by substitut
He was outstanding in his field. My daughter has heard this one like 50 times. She tells it at school now and I'm pretty sure her teacher regrets asking her about her family.
Told my son I was reading a book about anti-gravity. He asked how it was. I said I couldn't put it down. He rolled his eyes so hard I thought they might get stuck. Mission accompli
He doesn't get that his name is just Chris. He thinks I named him Frosted Flakes because that's what I call him most mornings.
I was changing my 3 year old and made a joke about how diapers are designed by people who've never actually changed one. He said 'dad that's not funny' which means I officially sou
I told him I have to, because I haven't dad a chance to come up with new material. He groaned so hard I thought he'd never recover. Worth it.
They're called dad jokes because they're jokes only a dad would think are funny enough to tell. My wife left the room for the third time today when I started talking about how I'm
Was telling my kids about how I was the fastest runner in high school. My daughter asked if that was before or after I got tired walking up the stairs. Wife laughed so hard she spi
I told him I was just checking to make sure I wasn't doing it wrong. He said 'Dad, you always do it wrong anyway.' Kid's got me figured out.
My 6 year old asked me which cereal was healthiest. I said the one with less sugar. He goes 'Then why do you eat the chocolate one?' I have no comeback for this. He won. Life over.