My kid asked me why I always make dad jokes
I told him because I'm a dad. He said that's not a good reason. I said it's a PUN-ishment for becoming a parent. He walked away but I heard him laugh.
BBrandon158 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
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I told him because I'm a dad. He said that's not a good reason. I said it's a PUN-ishment for becoming a parent. He walked away but I heard him laugh.
I'll meet you at the corner. My kids groaned so hard but I know they'll repeat it at school and embarrass their mother. Mission accomplished.
Picked up a can of soda and told my daughter we should get it because the name was familiar, it said 7up. She just stared at me. My wife pretended not to know me. Why do they hate
My 8yo accidentally said he was 'adopting' instead of 'adapting' and I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone got annoyed but then he made another funny slip up and even mom was cracking
Waitress asked how the food was and I said 'it's going down pretty well.' She smiled. Then I added 'which is good because my esophagus doesn't work sideways.' My wife put her face
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that's not a reason, that's an excuse. I said you're right, but I'm still gonna keep doing it. He groaned so loud the neighbors asked if
So I'm at the store with my 7 year old and he asks for cereal. I pick up a box and say 'this one's great, it's got 8 grams of protein per serving.' He looks at me and goes 'dad tha
Was making dinner and my daughter asked what's for dinner. I said 'food.' She didn't laugh. Then my son walked in, I said it again, and he absolutely lost it. No idea why but I'm c
I said because it makes people laugh. He goes "Dad you're not funny, people just laugh so you'll stop." Out of the mouths of babes man. He's not wrong though.
I said nothing, just thinking about how penguins have knees. She said that's not nothing that's weird. But seriously I was just at the zoo with the kids and now my brain won't let
My 4yo yells across the produce section "DAD WHY IS YOUR BELLY SO BIG?" and I'm just standing there in front of everyone like oh cool, this is my life now. Wife is trying not to la
An impasta. Just hit my kids with this one and my 9yo groaned so hard I thought he pulled something. Success.
Went to the grocery store with my 6 year old. He wanted every single box because apparently they're all 'part of a balanced breakfast.' I told him balance means only picking 2. He
Made the classic 'I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes' joke while supposedly watching the kids play in the backyard. Wife caught me actually asleep. Son then said 'Dad's not
I told him I wanted to make sure I was doing fatherhood correctly. He said 'Dad, you lost the instruction manual the day I was born.' Pretty sure he got me there.
The teacher asked my son what his dad does. I was standing right there so I said 'I make terrible jokes that embarrass my family.' Apparently that answer and my follow-up pun about
Was at Whole Foods and my 6 year old pointed at the organic section and asked 'Dad what does organic mean?' I said 'it means your mom paid extra money so we can feel poor faster.'
I told him it's a dad-astrophe if I don't. He groaned so loud the neighbors asked if everything was okay.
I said we should name the baby 'Epidemic' since we clearly don't understand how to stop having kids. She did not appreciate my humor at 3am while in labor.
My 5yo told me I have a 'jiggly tummy like Santa' and I should 'stop eating cookies.' Pretty sure he just roasted me but the confidence in his delivery absolutely got me. Later he