Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
880 threads
Usually my jokes get the classic eye roll or 'dad please stop' but this morning I said something about the pancakes being 'so good they're un-FLIPP-able' and both my kids actually
I said 'I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!' and my 6 year old just stared at me and said 'That doesn't even make sense, dad. Books don't have gravi
She said 'am I actually a monkey' and I told her only on Tuesdays. Now she's convinced that she turns into a monkey every Tuesday and keeps checking the calendar. Mission accomplis
He told me 'your mom is so funny she makes people laugh' and I died. He was trying to do a your mom joke but accidentally complimented my mom instead. I didn't correct him because
My son asked 'where are we going' and I said 'to get a little crazy' then drove to Krazy Kat's pizza place. The look on his face when he realized what I did was priceless. He groan
I caught myself saying 'back in my day we didn't have tablets for toddlers' and my 8 year old just stared at me. Then I realized I sound exactly like my dad did to me. Also why do
I told him because they're still funny to me. He said 'Dad that doesn't make sense.' I said 'Exactly, just like my jokes!' Wife is giving me that look right now.
My 6 year old asked what's for breakfast. I said 'Cereal.' He said 'What kind?' I said 'The kind you eat with milk.' He was not amused but I was dying. These are the moments that m
Tried to tell my kids that I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. When they asked if it's good I was supposed to say 'I can't put it down!' But my 8 year old just looked at me and sai
I'm now the guy who laughs at his own jokes before the punchline. My kids have started doing it too. This is my legacy. I'm actually proud.
Cashier asked me if I found everything okay. I said 'No, I'm still looking for the exit to my life.' She did not appreciate my humor. My kids were already embarrassed before we eve
Is that your kids will repeat your bad jokes at school and you'll get a call from the teacher. Happened to me twice now. The principal knows me by name. Worth it.
I told him because good players are hard to find. He didn't laugh. My wife laughed though which basically means I won the day.
I fell for it. He said because it felt crumbly. I groaned so hard my wife kicked me under the table but I was actually impressed that he came up with that one on his own. He's 8 an
Took my two kids shopping and my youngest asked for cereal in the aisle. I told him we already have cereal at home. He looked me dead in the eye and said 'but this cereal is DIFFER
Just stepped in a puddle my son left on the kitchen floor. I've decided this is worse than any actual crime. Wet socks are the enemy of humanity. My kids think it's hilarious when
I was sorting clothes and I said out loud, 'I'm on a roll' while holding a roll of paper towels. My 6 year old just stared at me and said 'Dad that's not a roll.' Had to explain th
Got my kids to clean their rooms by telling them I was going to call in a home inspector and we'd have to move if anything was found. They moved so fast I thought there was a fire.
I told him it's because I'm a father figure. He groaned so hard I thought he'd pull a muscle. Mission accomplished.
He asked me why the baseball player went to jail. I had no idea so he told me because he stole a base. I laughed harder than he did and now he thinks I'm the dumbest person alive.