My kid's joke today absolutely destroyed me
My 7 year old came up to me and said 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I said 'I don't know buddy why?' He goes 'Because it felt crumbly!' Then he just walks away like he
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
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My 7 year old came up to me and said 'Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor?' I said 'I don't know buddy why?' He goes 'Because it felt crumbly!' Then he just walks away like he
My daughter looked at me while I was singing along to the radio and said 'Dad you sing like you do everything else, confidently wrong.' I burst out laughing because honestly that's
Just changed my son's diaper this morning and apparently he had other plans. Poop went UP his back, out the side, and somehow inside his sleeve. My wife was laughing so hard she co
I said it's like being a soccer referee. You make a decision, everyone disagrees with you, and somehow you're still the bad guy even when you're right.
Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
I told him it's a fatherly duty. He didn't laugh. I guess you could say my jokes just aren't having kids yet.
We spend the first 2 years teaching our kids to walk and talk. Then we spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up. Make it make sense lol
He goes 'Dad why are you always stealing my fries?' I said 'because you never said the magic word.' He says 'okay fine, ABRACADABRA' and then I realized I raised a smart ass. Also
Kid comes up to me at dinner and says "Dad why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly!" Then he LAUGHS at his own joke like he invented comedy. The crazy part is
Took my 6yo to the park yesterday and he asked me why leaves change color in the fall. I gave him this whole explanation about chlorophyll and temperature changes and he just looke
My wife just rolled her eyes so hard when I told my 8yo that the grocery store doesn't sell eggs anymore because the chickens are on strike. Kid didn't get it at first but then cra
Kid: 'Dad why did you name me Jason?' Me: 'Because we wanted to call you something.' Him: 'That's not funny.' Me: 'That's what your mom said.' Nailed it.
Took my boys to get ice cream and when they asked what I wanted I said 'I scream for ice cream' and just stared at them. My oldest literally groaned so loud the server laughed. Thi
My 3 year old fell down and I asked if he was okay. He said 'I'm not okay I'm three.' I'm still laughing about it. Kids are accidentally hilarious sometimes.
I said 'because your mom asked me to actually build this shelf correctly this time' and he goes 'so you're NOT going to wing it?' Lost it. He's 7 and already knows his old man too
I told him it's genetic. He said that's not how genetics work. I said exactly, neither do my jokes.
It said 'High in Fiber' and I immediately thought about my own digestive system. Then my 7 year old asked why I was laughing at a box of Raisin Bran. Tried to explain it but just m
Made a joke at dinner about how I'm 'on a seafood diet' because I see food and I eat it. My daughter looked at me dead serious and said 'Dad that's not even a joke, that's just you
He said 'I thought dads don't read instructions?' I told him that's only when mom's not looking. He's 7 and already catching on to our culture.
My 9yo just stared at me and said 'Dad that joke has no reaction.' I see what he did there. He's already better at this than I am.