The diaper years are a whole comedy show
My 2yo pooped right as I finished putting on a fresh diaper. I looked at my wife and said 'Well that's just crappy timing.' She didn't laugh. My son did though and honestly that's
PPaul M.91 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
My 2yo pooped right as I finished putting on a fresh diaper. I looked at my wife and said 'Well that's just crappy timing.' She didn't laugh. My son did though and honestly that's
I caught myself making a pun about my kids' cereal this morning and they groaned so hard that my youngest said 'Dad please stop.' I AM BECOMING THE THING I FEARED. Next thing you k
Seriously though, my kids think I'm Gordon Ramsay when I make sandwiches. Their bar is so low that slapping some peanut butter on bread makes me a culinary genius. Mom makes a 5 co
He asked why we had to go to the 'sad vegetable section' and I lost it. He meant produce. He called it the sad vegetable section. My wife is still upset that I bought him a toy for
I said because they keep groaning so I know they're still alive. Ba dum tss. In all seriousness my 8 year old told me my jokes are 'peak dad humor' and I've never been more proud o
My 5 year old asked what time it was and I said it was time to get a watch. I know it's terrible. He lost it. Literally the dumbest joke ever but seeing him laugh that hard was eve
To get away from all the kids. Just kidding I brought all three. Send help.
She asked me why I was so tired. I said daddy had a long day at work. She goes 'maybe you need more sleep daddy because you're always grumpy.' Out of the mouths of babes. She's not
I said why did the chicken go to school? To get a little brighter. He looked at me and said that's not even funny and my wife burst out laughing. I'm realizing my jokes are worse t
I said yeah, your mom when she's mad. He didn't get it but my wife heard from the other room and I'm sleeping on the couch tonight. Worth it.
Went to the grocery store and forgot why I was there. Had to call my wife to ask. She just said "this is why I send you with a list" and hung up. I bought milk anyway because that'
Nothing, it just waved. My 4 year old laughed for like 5 minutes straight. My 10 year old rolled his eyes so hard I thought they'd get stuck back there.
Last week I said 'Well I'm not paying for that' and I FELT myself become my father. Then my 9 year old rolled her eyes exactly the way I used to roll my eyes at my own dad. The cyc
So my 7 year old went to school and told his class 'Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.' His teacher called me that day to tell me about it and I was so p
My 18 month old decided to take off his diaper and his pants this morning while I was showering and when I came out he had somehow gotten poop in places I didn't know were possible
I asked my 7 year old why he was reading the dictionary. He said he wanted to improve his vocabulary. I told him it was a good idea because his current words weren't very descripti
My 5 year old asked me what I was doing standing in the kitchen. I said 'Looks like I'm standing in the kitchen.' She said 'No Dad, what are you DOING.' I said 'Well right now I'm
So we're at the grocery store and I grab a bag of lettuce. I turn to my son and say 'Lettuce have a good time at the store!' The look he gave me man. It was like disappointment, se
He heard someone had stolen a base! I've been using this one for like three weeks and my kids are so tired of it. My oldest literally covers his ears now when I start talking. But
This morning I laughed at my own joke so hard I snorted my coffee out my nose while my kids groaned. I asked my 7-year-old if he wanted to hear a construction joke and he said 'I'm