I'm becoming my father and I'm okay with it
Caught myself last week tucking my t-shirt into my shorts, making dad sounds when I got up from the couch, and asking my kids if they wanted their lawn mowed for 50 cents. My dad d
RRob K.185 views
-17
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
Caught myself last week tucking my t-shirt into my shorts, making dad sounds when I got up from the couch, and asking my kids if they wanted their lawn mowed for 50 cents. My dad d
Like when you're running late for something and you do that speed walk that's not quite a run so you don't look desperate. Or when you find a french fry in the car from like two we
At breakfast this morning my 7 year old was drinking orange juice and I said 'wow you really like your juice' and he goes 'yeah' and I hit him with 'well you're not the only one wh
My 4 year old came up to me yesterday with a serious look on his face and said 'dad, I need to tell you something very important.' I'm thinking oh no what happened. He goes 'I have
My 6 year old asked me this morning why I look so tired. I told him it's because I'm not sleeping enough. He said 'Why don't you just sleep more?' WELL KID if it were that easy I w
Spent 20 minutes convincing my 4 year old that brushing his teeth doesn't make him turn into a dinosaur. Or shrink. Or lose his favorite toy. Or any of the other consequences he ap
Stepped on the scale this morning and my son walks in and goes 'Dad are you getting fatter?' Not exactly the morning motivational speech I was hoping for. I said 'No buddy, I'm jus
My 2 year old has learned how to unbuckle his car seat. Been practicing my 'dad voice' telling him to stay buckled but he just laughs. Asked a buddy for advice and he said his kid
My wife found 7 baseball caps in the car yesterday and asked why I need so many. I told her they're not for me, they're for all the different dads I become depending on the situati
I told him I was looking for the chapter on how to be a good dad. He said "Dad, you've been making this up as you go for 8 years." I said "Exactly, and look how well you turned out
His teacher called saying he told the class "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" I have never been more proud and more embarrassed at the
He wanted to go to high school! I've been waiting MONTHS to use this one on him. He groaned so hard I think he pulled something.
My 4yo asked why the cereal box says 'Part of a complete breakfast' and I said 'Because without it, breakfast is incomplete.' He then asked if incomplete breakfast tastes different
I asked my 8yo 'What do you call a fake noodle?' and he just looked at me and said 'Dad, please stop.' Before I could even deliver the punchline (an impasta, obviously). When did k
Wife asked me to take out the trash. I said 'I didn't know you were feeling bad about yourself!' She did NOT appreciate my humor. The kids laughed though which is all that matters.
Because he was outstanding in his field! Just hit my 6 year old with this one and he groaned so hard I think he sprained something. Success.
Went to pick up my kids from school and the teacher asks if they've been talking about the field trip. I go 'No, but I hear they're going to the farm - I guess you could say they'r
I said 'Franks and beans' and he goes 'But dad, where's Frank?' I just about died laughing. He got me good. That's the moment I knew I raised him right.
Was doing the midnight run to get my son some water last night and forgot about the lego minefield in the hallway. Stepped directly on a piece and had to physically stop myself fro
Just spent 45 minutes with my kids literally climbing on me like I'm some kind of playground equipment. My 4 year old was doing a handstand on my chest and my 6 year old was trying