The grocery store incident
So my 6 year old asks me in the checkout line why the store has a family restroom. I said because families need to go to the bathroom together sometimes. He goes 'but dad you never
JJoel F.122 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
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So my 6 year old asks me in the checkout line why the store has a family restroom. I said because families need to go to the bathroom together sometimes. He goes 'but dad you never
I told him I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. He just stared at me. Mission accomplished.
Someone who really knows how to turnip the beet. My kids are already groaning at me and they're not even home from school yet. Worth it.
I asked my son why he wasn't eating his vegetables and he said "Dad you complain about eating them too so why should I?" Got absolutely wrecked by a 9 year old. Wife thought it was
Caught myself saying "We're not paying for the AC so you can cool down the whole neighborhood" while my kids had the garage door open. That's almost word for word what my dad said
Because he was outstanding in his field! My 5 year old told me this one yesterday and laughed so hard he almost fell off his chair. I pretended I had never heard it before.
I was cooking dinner and asked my son if he wanted to help. He looked at my apron and said 'no thanks dad, you're doing fine by yourself... at burning things.' This kid is 4. FOUR.
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said 'but dad, you weren't born that way.' I said 'exactly, I had to dad-apt.' He groaned so hard I think I heard him roll his eyes from anoth
Salesman asked him if he had any hobbies. My son said 'yeah, taking off my shoes and hiding them where my dad can't find them.' I had to laugh even though it was 100% accurate. Tha
He asked why I was laughing alone in the kitchen. I said "I'm just enjoying some me-time with my sense of humor." He left the room shaking his head. That's when I knew I'd made it
Kid scores a goal and I yell out "That was gouda defense by the other team!" My wife just stared at me. The other parents pretended not to hear me. Worth it though.
I bought lettuce and said "lettuce have a great day!" She literally groaned out loud. Felt like I leveled up my dad joke game. My 8yo was mortified standing next to me.
I told him it's in my contract. He didn't laugh. I said don't worry, you'll understand when you're older. He said "Dad, that's the problem."
She's not wrong. Yesterday I made a joke about the water park being 'un-TIDE-lievable' and my 8 year old actually apologized to his mom for having me as a dad. But then at dinner h
Went to get milk and cereal this morning. My 4 year old sees a sign that says 'Fresh Baked Bread' and loudly asks 'Why is the bread taking a bath?' Then he wouldn't stop laughing a
Usually my jokes get the classic eye roll or 'dad please stop' but this morning I said something about the pancakes being 'so good they're un-FLIPP-able' and both my kids actually
I said 'I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!' and my 6 year old just stared at me and said 'That doesn't even make sense, dad. Books don't have gravi
She said 'am I actually a monkey' and I told her only on Tuesdays. Now she's convinced that she turns into a monkey every Tuesday and keeps checking the calendar. Mission accomplis
He told me 'your mom is so funny she makes people laugh' and I died. He was trying to do a your mom joke but accidentally complimented my mom instead. I didn't correct him because
My son asked 'where are we going' and I said 'to get a little crazy' then drove to Krazy Kat's pizza place. The look on his face when he realized what I did was priceless. He groan