Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
681 threads
I just stepped on a hidden lego brick at 2am going to check on my kid and I swear I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. The silent scream. The hopping on one foot in the dark
It got mugged. My son rolled his eyes so hard I thought they might get stuck. Still laughing about it though.
My 4 year old comes running out of the bathroom yelling "DAD I NEED HELP" so I rush in thinking something's wrong. Nope. He just wanted me to witness him flushing the toilet becaus
Because he was outstanding in his field. My 6 year old told me this one yesterday and actually laughed at his own joke for like two minutes straight. That's when I knew I was raisi
I said no why and she goes because you're always in the garden looking like you don't know what you're doing. Fair point. Also she's 8 and already has better comedic timing than me
My newborn decided to detonate what I can only describe as a biological weapon at 6am while I was changing him. Went EVERYWHERE. Up the back, down the legs, somehow on the wall beh
My kids wanted to go swimming so I filled up the kiddie pool. About 20 minutes later my son comes up to me dripping wet looking devastated. I ask what's wrong and he says 'Dad the
Because it's the only time we get excited about spending $8 on popcorn and $12 on cookie dough. My daughter came home with the fundraiser packet and I was like yeah buddy I'm buyin
I said no why, and she goes 'because every time you tell a joke everyone disappears'
Took my 4 year old to the grocery store yesterday. He points at Froot Loops and goes 'Dad those are the ones that turn your milk purple right?' I said 'nope' and he goes 'then why
They asked why I was making them eat broccoli. I said 'because it makes you smart.' My oldest goes 'then why don't you eat more of it?' My wife nearly spit out her coffee. Walked r
I told him I wanted to know what I was supposed to be doing. He said 'Dad you're supposed to be a dad, not read the manual.' I said 'buddy I've been winging it this whole time, the
My teenager caught me doing the floss dance in the kitchen this morning. Not the dental kind. He just shook his head and said 'Dad please stop, you're embarrassing yourself in fron
Apparently his grades are so bad they're considered a work of fiction. I asked him about it and he said at least he's creative with his excuses.
I told him it's because I'm outstanding in my field. He asked what field and I said the field of corn... get it? Anyway he groaned so hard I think I heard his soul leave his body.
Because he heard the drinks were on the house! My 7 year old came up with this one and I've never been more proud or more ashamed at the same time.
I said well that's where you're wrong kiddo, I'm a barrel of laughs. She said yeah, the kind people want to throw off a cliff. She's 9 and already destroys me with comebacks.
Was dropping off my son at soccer and said 'Have an ice day' because the field was wet. He literally said 'Dad, that's not even a pun' and walked away. Mission accomplished if you
He wanted cold hard cash. My 6yo came up to me this morning and told me that joke like he invented it. Pretty sure he heard it from me two years ago. The circle of dad humor is com
She asked me what it was about and I said 'I can't put it down.' She rolled her eyes so hard I thought they'd get stuck. Then she went upstairs and told her mom the joke like 20 mi