Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crumbly! My 6 year old groaned so hard when I told her this at breakfast. Worth it.
BBen L.213 views
46
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
359 threads
Because it felt crumbly! My 6 year old groaned so hard when I told her this at breakfast. Worth it.
So my son had a blowout at target last week and it went EVERYWHERE. I'm talking up his back, down his legs, on my favorite shirt. I just stood there in the middle of the aisle look
Knock knock. Who's there. Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh-- MOOOOO. They absolutely lost it. Been doing this same joke for 2 years and they laugh harder every time. This is p
Caught my toddler mid-fall from the couch today with one hand while holding my coffee in the other. Didn't spill a drop. I felt like a superhero for like 3 seconds then he immediat
I told him it's because I'm a dad. He said that doesn't make it funny. I said well it doesn't have to be good to be a dad joke, that's the whole point! He rolled his eyes so hard I
Wife sent me to get milk and eggs. I come back with a rotisserie chicken too because it smelled amazing. She asked why I bought it when we didn't need it. I said well the chicken w
Stepping on a lego brick at 2am while getting water. No, actually worse: stepping on a lego brick at 2am while your kid is crying and you're walking around the dark house trying no
My 4 year old saw me making coffee this morning and asked why I was making 'dad juice.' Apparently that's what he thinks coffee is now because I'm always drinking it. So now whenev
Tired. My buddy just had quads and I told him this joke. His response was just a blank stare and then he asked me to leave so he could sit in silence for 15 minutes. I think I've n
So I set up the perfect scenario to tell my kid a knock knock joke and he completely derailed it by asking if knock knock was a bad guy from Batman. Spent the next 20 minutes expla
Got excited about a new tool at the hardware store and spent 45 minutes explaining to my kid why a cordless impact driver was 'really cool' and 'so powerful.' He just stared at me.
I said 'it's dinner time' and he goes 'no dad that's not a time' and I was like 'well it is in this house buddy.' My wife didn't laugh but I thought it was gold.
Because it felt crumbly. My kids absolutely hate this joke but I keep telling it anyway. That's the dad life right there.
Caught my 5 year old drawing on the bathroom mirror with a marker this morning. I'm standing there trying not to lose it and he looks up at me real serious and goes 'don't worry da
My 6 year old asked the cashier if the bananas were ripe. I said 'no they're just going through a phase.' My wife walked away from me. Worth it.
I told him it's a fatherly duty. He groaned so hard I think he pulled something. Mission accomplished.
Anything you want, he can't hear you. My kids have stopped asking why I tell these jokes and started just accepting them as part of their DNA now.
Caught him muting his phone when I walk in the room. Asked him if I was boring him. He said 'Dad, you're not boring, you're just... a lot.' I think that's code for 'your jokes are
My daughter asked me why I was reading the instructions for the coffee maker. I said 'Because I need to follow the brew-les.' Her eye roll was magnificent. She's 12 and already jud
I told him 'We're going to have to tighten our belts with the budget.' He looked at me confused and said 'Dad your belt already looks pretty tight.' Kid's got comedy gold on accide