Why did the dad go to school?
Because his son kept telling him he had to bring home better grades. I'll be here all week (because the kids have no school and my wife left me in charge).
TTravis M.174 views
13
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
880 threads
Because his son kept telling him he had to bring home better grades. I'll be here all week (because the kids have no school and my wife left me in charge).
They asked if it was good and I said I can't put it down. Daughter said 'Dad that makes no sense' and walked away. She's 8. They're learning to despise my humor and honestly I'm pr
About three months. I'm currently at the 18 month mark with my second kid and I'm pretty sure I've lost the ability to form complete sentences. Had to leave a work meeting yesterda
I said sure. Been hiding in the garage for 3 hours now and honestly it's been the most peaceful afternoon I've had in months. The only downside is my wife keeps texting asking if I
Because he wanted to draw the curtains. My 6 year old groaned so hard he made that face where his whole body convulses. This is my life now and I regret nothing.
Saw my kid hiding in a clothing rack at Target. I walked by and said "I'm looking for my son but all I found were these hanging around" and just kept walking. Three dads nearby act
Every night I try a new pun on my kids before bed. Last night I said "Time to hit the hay" and my 7yo goes "Dad you're not a horse." I said "No but I'm a bit of an ass for these jo
Because it wanted to improve its punchline. Okay I'll see myself out.
I told him I was just trying to raise his standards. He groaned so hard I think he threw out his back.
That feeling when you make a joke and your kid actually laughs instead of eye rolls. It's better than winning the lottery. I'm riding this high for at least a week.
I was at the store and saw a dad with his kid in the cart. I texted my wife "I just saw a guy with his son. He looked so much like me. Must be a family thing." She did NOT find it
Wife: "The kids are being so loud." Me: "Yeah they're on a volume roll." Silence. My oldest: "Dad that doesn't even make sense." Me: "Exactly. Just like my life choices." Wife actu
Been telling my kids for months that I'd take them somewhere special for their birthday. When the day came I took them to the... long johns restaurant and acted like it was my big
Cashier asked how my day was going. I said 'Can't complain, just shopping for groceries.' She said 'That's great!' I said 'Yeah, I'm on a roll... actually I'm buying bread but you
My 4yo pointed at Fruity Pebbles and asked if we could get them. I said 'Sorry buddy, we're on a cereal killer diet.' He didn't laugh. My wife behind me did that laugh-sigh combo t
I told him it's in my DNA. He said 'Dad, that's not how biology works.' I said 'I know, but it IS how dad works!' He groaned so hard I think he threw out his back. Mission accompli
He said he was reading a book on anti-gravity and couldn't put it down. So I asked him if he wanted me to just throw it up in the air for him then. The eye roll was worth every pen
I told him it's a fatherly duty. He said that's not even funny. I said exactly, that's the whole point.
Took my 6 year old grocery shopping yesterday and he pointed at every single box like we were at a museum. I told him we could only get one. He said "but dad these are all cereal-o
Changed a diaper this morning and my 8 month old apparently had some kind of explosion overnight. It was everywhere. Like on his back up to his neck. On the crib sheets. We're talk