18 months sober. Started drinking in college to fit in, kept drinking because I didn't know how to stop. Got married because that's what you do, had kids because that's the next step, bought the house because of the mortgage company approved it. Never once asked what I actually wanted. Got sober in ...
My kid said I'm like a superhero but my power is ruining songs by singing the wrong lyrics really loud. I said that's the best compliment I've ever gotten and immediately started belting out my rendition of every pop song on the radio. My wife left the room.
Told my son the scale was broken because it said I gained 15 pounds. He said 'Dad thats probably not how scales work.' I said 'Well clearly this one is defective so we're donating it.' He laughed so hard he couldn't breathe. At least someone appreciates my problem solving skills.
Spent all Saturday organizing the garage. Got a pegboard up for the hand tools, labeled everything, even reorganized the storage shelves. My wife said 'Who are you and what did you do with my husband.' I actually know where things are now instead of buying duplicates. This might be my greatest accom...
This has been happening for 3 months now. She'll text me an hour before my scheduled pickup that she needs to keep the kids an extra day, or vice versa. I get that life happens but I'm trying to plan my weekends and it's making me look bad when I have to cancel plans. We have a custody agreement tha...
Took me 6 months but the man cave is officially complete. Got the 65 inch TV mounted, mini fridge stocked, and a pool table squeezed in the corner. Wife said I could have one night a week down here guilt free. That one night just got extended to three once I showed her the setup. Best investment I'v...
Went to get milk this morning and somehow ended up in every single aisle. Got home and wife asked why I was gone so long for one item. I told her I was doing research. Really I was just slowly pushing the cart and spacing out in the cereal aisle while some dad was telling his kid a knock knock joke....
I get to the lake Saturday mornings before everyone wakes up. Don't even care if I catch anything. It's just me, the water, and my thoughts. No one asking me for anything, no emails, no noise. Four hours and I come back ready to be present for my family the rest of the weekend. My wife finally gets ...
Got offered a director role that comes with maybe 30% travel. Kids are 7, 5, and 2. I'd make significantly more money which we could use for college funds and paying off the house faster. But I'd miss a lot. My wife is supportive either way but I can tell she's stressed about managing three kids sol...
Before my son was born I had this image of myself as a pretty independent, detached kind of guy. Didn't think I'd be one of those emotional father types. Had the kid and something just flipped. I'm the guy crying at little moments now. I actually care deeply about stuff. I worry about legacy and wha...
My 7 year old brought home a progress report yesterday that says she needs to work on reading comprehension. Now I can't stop thinking about it. I've been researching learning disabilities at 2am, imagining worst case scenarios, and honestly I feel like I'm failing her as a parent. My wife keeps tel...
Left my job 6 months ago and people think I'm insane. Was pulling 60+ hour weeks, traveled constantly, missed so much. My kids barely knew me. I came home one day and my 6yo asked if I was going to leave again tomorrow and something broke in me. We tightened our belts, I found a job with normal hour...
Kid just turned 11 and basically everyone at school has one. He keeps saying he's the only one without and I'm not sure if that's true or just 11yo drama. Main concern is screen time spiraling out of control and him getting on weird stuff online. What's everyone doing here? Any good age guidelines o...
Apparently my 9yo has been using my linked credit card to buy virtual currency for Roblox games. Noticed a bunch of 99 cent charges that added up to like $80 last month. I thought I had parental controls set up but clearly missed something. He says all his friends are buying stuff so everyone had so...
Dentist asked my son if he's been flossing. He said only on special occasions. I immediately said must be why he doesn't floss much then, special occasions are rare. Everyone laughed. This is my legacy.