Wife said I need to be more involved in bath time
So now I'm 50% underwater when I give the kids baths. Pretty sure that's not what she meant but the kids think it's hilarious.
KKevin148 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
So now I'm 50% underwater when I give the kids baths. Pretty sure that's not what she meant but the kids think it's hilarious.
I told him because he was born 9 months after I went the distance with your mom. He's 7 and doesn't get it yet but I'm waiting for the day he does.
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Kid walks in while I'm in the bathroom and asks what I'm doing. I say 'I'm reading.' He says 'reading what?' and I say 'The owner's manual, I lost the instructions for this part.'
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So I told my 3 year old it was bedtime and he goes 'But dad it's still light outside' and I'm like ok fair point. Then he goes 'Can we read one more book' and I say no buddy we alr
This kid has been telling me knock knock jokes for like an hour straight and none of them make sense. Like knock knock, who's there, pizza, pizza who, PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA. He thinks
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Because he was outstanding in his field. My kids groaned so hard when I told them this one at dinner. Worth it.
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My 7 year old told me a joke today and I realized he's starting to tell actual dad jokes. He asked what you call a sleeping bull. I said "I don't know what?" He said "A bulldozer."
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Because I get to do all the voices and my kids actually think I'm funny. Sure the jokes are terrible but at 8pm after a long day, anything that keeps them in bed for 10 more minute
I told him it's a fatherhood requirement. He asked if there was a manual. I said yeah, it comes with the diaper bag and a complete loss of your sense of humor. He didn't laugh. Mis
My toddler was having a complete meltdown in the middle of Target because they were out of his favorite fruit snacks. So I look at the empty shelf and I'm like 'Looks like someone
So I'm at the store with my 6 year old and he asks why the cereal aisle is so long. I say because it's a real cereal situation. My wife gives me that look. My son thinks I'm hilari
I told my son I was going to the gym to get in shape. He looks at me and says 'Dad, you said that last week.' Out of the mouths of babes. Apparently I'm predictable and lazy. He's
Remember when you thought dad jokes were stupid? Now I find myself cracking them constantly and actually laughing at my own jokes. My kids groan every single time but I can see the
Was making breakfast this morning and burned the toast. My 9 year old goes 'Dad, that's not charcoal, that's CARBON.' I've been waiting YEARS for someone in this family to understa