The cereal aisle betrayal
I told my 6 year old we were going to have a "fun breakfast surprise" this morning. Made some homemade pancakes from scratch, spent like 45 minutes on them. He looked at the plate
PPatrick W.114 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
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I told my 6 year old we were going to have a "fun breakfast surprise" this morning. Made some homemade pancakes from scratch, spent like 45 minutes on them. He looked at the plate
So I said, "Well that's ironic coming from someone who thinks Minecraft has a plot." He didn't laugh. I'm clearly losing my touch.
He wrote down "why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to." Not exactly the punchline structure we're going for but I gotta say the kid's got confidence. He told it to
My 6 year old was asking me what I was making for dinner and I said 'I'm making a mess of things as usual' and then he asked me why I always mess things up. Solid dad joke executio
I'm wearing New Balance sneakers, khaki cargo shorts, and a polo shirt that's just a little too big. My wife took one look at me and said 'the transformation is complete.' I didn't
So I was trying to impress my kids with a trick where I make a grape disappear and my son just looks at me and goes 'Dad that's not magic that's just you eating it.' Spent 5 minute
I'm so proud I might cry. He came up to me and said 'Why did the scarecrow win an award?' and I said 'I dunno why' and he goes 'Because he was outstanding in his field!' I have cre
I said yeah why, and he goes 'Because you always take the same route everywhere.' Not even a dad joke and he got me. Pretty sure he's developing a sense of humor that's gonna be us
My kid asked me what time it was and I said 'It's time to get a watch.' Then I followed up with 'But seriously it's 3:15.' The eye roll I got was absolutely worth it. These are the
Like getting genuinely excited about organizing the garage. Or how a 20 minute trip to the store somehow turns into an hour because you got distracted looking at tools. Or when you
I told my son he was being silly and he goes 'Dad you're being silly, you thought the moon was a big piece of cheese when you were my age.' I NEVER said that. I don't know where he
Because she was already stuffed! My 4 year old told me this one at breakfast and I lost it. The way he delivered the punchline with that serious face. I think I've created a monste
His teacher sent home a worksheet where kids fill in jokes and this absolute masterpiece was on there: 'What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!' My man is out here workshopp
So I'm at Kroger with my 6 and 8 year old. My youngest points at the rotisserie chickens and goes 'Dad why are those chickens in jail?' I said 'what do you mean buddy' and he's lik
She came home from school and told me I embarrassed her at pickup by waving at her friends. I said 'Well at least I'm not as bad as your mom, she embarrasses us all the time.' My w
He heard someone had stolen a base. Seriously though, I took my boys to their first game yesterday and they were way more interested in the nachos than the actual sport. Still coun
I was making breakfast and 'Don't Stop Believin' came on. Next thing I know the kids are laughing at me and my wife is shaking her head. The saddest part? I wasn't even embarrassed
I told him it's a genetic thing. He's not laughing yet but give it 10 years and he'll understand the pain he's about to inflict on his own kids. It's the circle of dad.
A gummy bear. My kids groaned so hard when I said this one at breakfast this morning. Mission accomplished.
My 7yo actually laughed at this one which means I'm officially the funniest person alive. Don't worry I already know I peaked today.