Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
Why is it that the second I get out of the shower and put on clean clothes my son decides he needs help with something that requires me to get completely dirty again? Yesterday I g
I said I was just giving them a little motivation. You could say I'm trying to help them grow. She didn't laugh. She never laughs at my jokes but my kids do and that's all that mat
Changed my toddler's diaper this morning and it literally went up to his neck. We're talking full exorcist situation. Had to throw his outfit away, wash him down like he was a car,
Kid asks me 'Why did the coffee file a police report?' I have no idea so I ask. He says 'Because it got mugged!' Then he laughs at his own joke for like 5 minutes. I've been beaten
So I'm at my daughter's school pickup and I'm making small talk with another dad. His kid walks up and I say 'Hey buddy, you must be exhausted from school!' He looks confused and I
Was eating goldfish crackers with my toddler and he keeps pointing at them saying 'They're not smiling Dad.' So I tell him 'Maybe they're just concentrating on not getting eaten.'
To tell the same joke 47 times a day and never get tired of the punchline. My kids have heard my 'Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!' joke approxima
My 6 year old asks me why I'm looking at a map instead of using my phone GPS. I tell him 'Because real men don't ask for directions, we just explore.' He says 'Dad, you've been dri
Finally reached the point where I can tell my kids are laughing WITH me instead of AT me when I make jokes. Pretty sure I heard my 10 year old groan-laugh at one of my puns yesterd
Because he heard someone had stolen a base.
I told my son I had to go to the bank to check my balance. He goes "But dad you have really good balance I saw you trip on nothing yesterday." I got got by my own kid. Worth it tho
I had to put my foot down.
Was at the grocery store with my 4yo and he points at the rotisserie chickens and goes "Dad why are they all just sitting there spinning?" So I tell him they're on a ferris wheel.
I told my son a joke the other day and he just stared at me and said 'Dad that's not funny.' Kid, you're six. You laugh at your own reflection. But then I realized he might be righ
Because he was outstanding in his field! My kids are officially groaning at my jokes now instead of laughing. I've reached peak dad status. Mission accomplished.
My 14 year old was having friends over so I decided to be the cool dad and order pizza. When it arrived I did that thing where you open the box and go 'Who ordered the pizza?' in a
Because it felt crumbly! My 6 year old groaned so hard when I told her this at breakfast. Worth it.
So my son had a blowout at target last week and it went EVERYWHERE. I'm talking up his back, down his legs, on my favorite shirt. I just stood there in the middle of the aisle look
Knock knock. Who's there. Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh-- MOOOOO. They absolutely lost it. Been doing this same joke for 2 years and they laugh harder every time. This is p
Caught my toddler mid-fall from the couch today with one hand while holding my coffee in the other. Didn't spill a drop. I felt like a superhero for like 3 seconds then he immediat