How life changed since becoming a dad. Identity shifts, things you miss, things you gained, the transformation of fatherhood.
559 threads
When my kids were little I was always the fun dad doing silly stuff. Now my oldest is 12 and he needs guidance more than games. I'm having actual conversations with him about life
Five years ago I was hitting bars 3-4 nights a week. No responsibilities. Then my daughter was born and everything just shifted. Don't get me wrong I miss sleeping past 6am and goi
Used to care so much about having the nicest car, the coolest gadgets, impressing people at work. Now I'm like why does any of that matter. I just want to be here for my kids. Turn
Been thinking about this a lot lately. 5 years ago I was doing nights at the distribution center, sleeping during the day, completely missing my kids' childhoods. Got a job offer f
Not trying to preach here but this needed to be said somewhere. I was a 'functional' drinker for like 10 years. Couple beers every night, heavier on weekends. My wife was at her li
Spent 12 years climbing the ladder at a big company. Long hours, constant stress, all of it. Made good money though. Finally hit a breaking point where I realized I was exhausted a
This one's been a journey. About 18 months ago I weighed 280, couldn't play with my kids without getting winded, embarrassed to be seen at the pool. Started going to the gym consis
Lost: spontaneity, free time, disposable income, a clean house, my six pack abs, my old friend group (turns out a lot of them don't have kids so they don't get it), sleep, the abil
I spent probably 15 grand building out my gaming setup before my first kid was born. Had the whole thing - top tier PC, three monitors, mechanical keyboards, the works. Played ever
Before I had my daughter I was that guy who would sleep till noon on weekends, had a spotless apartment, and genuinely enjoyed going to bars with my buddies. Now I wake up at 6am e
My crew from college all stayed pretty tight until we started having kids. Now I'm the only one with three and my buddies without kids just don't get why I can't do last minute wee
Used to backpack Southeast Asia and sleep in hostels. Wife and kids changed that. Now my vacations are planned around school breaks and involve way more logistics. Do I miss the fr
Man I was out every weekend before kids. Thought my life was over when my first was born but honestly? I wouldn't trade it. Miss sleeping past 6am and just being spontaneous but ga
I was genuinely selfish before becoming a dad. Career focused, relationships were secondary, money was everything. Fatherhood basically rewired my brain. Everything I do now has th
At 28 I was hitting the gym 5 days a week, had abs, the whole thing. Three kids later I'm 35, carrying an extra 40 pounds, and I honestly don't miss it that much. The time commitme
Short version: I was irritable, yelled at the kids over stupid stuff, took my work stress out on everyone. My daughter told my wife she was scared of me and that hit different. Sta
Used to work 60 hour weeks and miss basically everything. Kids would show me drawings and I'd half listen while checking emails. Wife was running the house solo. Made the switch to
Was coaching baseball and traveling weekends for years. Thought it was my identity. Wife was doing everything else. Took a year to really sit with it and realized I was avoiding my
I was that guy sneaking beers in the garage, telling myself it wasn't a problem. My oldest asked me why I smelled funny one time and that destroyed me. Finally admitted I needed he
Before kids I thought I was important because of my job and my paycheck. I had this whole identity wrapped up in being the ambitious guy at the office. First kid came along and sud