How life changed since becoming a dad. Identity shifts, things you miss, things you gained, the transformation of fatherhood.
832 threads
Five years ago I was 280 pounds, spent all my free time gaming and eating junk. My kids barely recognized me half the time because I was always checked out. Something just clicked
Few years back I was that bitter single dad, hated my ex, felt like life did me dirty. Just angry all the time. Met my now wife at a friend's BBQ and literally everything started t
Three years sober today. Not sharing this for pity but because I know there's guys here struggling. I was the dad who was checked out, or worse, checked in but drunk. My oldest ref
Used to spend 2 hours a day lifting, meal prepping, the whole deal. Had abs, could deadlift 400 lbs, felt like I had my life figured out. Then my twins were born 3 years ago and ev
Got sober when my oldest was born. Best decision I ever made but it's complicated. I miss being the fun dad who didn't overthink everything. I miss the confidence I had when I was
Wife made significantly more than me so when our first was born it just made financial sense. I was terrified about it. Who was I if I wasn't the provider? Spent the first 6 months
Spent 15 years grinding in finance. 60 hour weeks, traveled constantly, made great money, hated my life. Got divorced because of it. When my custody agreement started I realized I
Left at 18 thinking I'd never go back. Moved to the city, built a career, got married, had kids. Recently moved back because housing is crazy expensive and family support matters n
Five years ago I was sleeping on my buddy's couch, barely seeing my kids, and lying to everyone about how much I was drinking. Today I have my own place, I have 50/50 custody back,
Got out after 12 years in the service. Lost the brotherhood, the structure, the clear mission. Some days I still wake up at 5 with that habit. What I gained though is actually bein
I was 280 pounds, worked a desk job, and hadn't run since high school. My doctor basically told me I was headed toward a heart attack if I didn't change something. Started running
Had a scare with my heart at 42. Doctor said I was headed for a heart attack if I didn't change everything. That scared me straight. Cut out most processed food, started running ag
I was that dad who needed a beer after work every single day. Then two. Then hiding the empties. My wife gave me an ultimatum and I actually listened. Went to AA, got a sponsor, di
Got divorced when my son was 4. Thought my family was ruined. Spent 5 years co-parenting as best I could, feeling like I failed. Then met my now wife who has two kids. Suddenly I'm
I left my job as an account manager making decent money to be home with the kids full time when my second was born. Best and hardest decision ever. I miss the structure, the payche
Sold my condo last year and bought a house with actual yard space. Had it set up exactly how I wanted it for ten years. Now there's toys everywhere, walls have scuff marks, the sme
Before kids I could sleep until noon, go to bed whenever, nap whenever. My schedule was completely mine. Now I'm up at 6 AM whether I want to be or not. Going to bed early because
Had a kid two years ago and honestly the life change hit me hard at first. Used to be out Friday through Sunday doing whatever. Now my idea of a perfect weekend is making pancakes,
Used to be known in my circle as the guy with the motorcycle, the one who was always doing something crazy or spontaneous. Got married, had kids, and that identity just evaporated.
Took a job with less pay but way better hours so I could be home by 5:30. Before I was doing the corporate grind, leaving at 6am getting home at 7pm, weekends were for catching up