Why my son thinks I'm a superhero
Caught a moth in the house barehanded and threw it outside. Now he keeps asking when my superpowers will activate. I've been riding this for three days. Don't tell him it was liter
KKevin P.216 views
20
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
681 threads
Caught a moth in the house barehanded and threw it outside. Now he keeps asking when my superpowers will activate. I've been riding this for three days. Don't tell him it was liter
Found out my 6 year old has been eating cereal dry without milk and hiding the milk in the back of the fridge because he thinks it's 'not as gross that way.' I don't know whether t
When your kid accidentally drops something and you say 'good thing we bought the hardwood floor version' instead of 'the wood'. Or when you come back from loading the dishwasher an
Nothing, it just waved. My 6 year old groaned so hard he fell off the couch. I'm gonna use this one at work and pretend I came up with it.
My teenager had friends over and I dropped this gem: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Dead silence. One of his friends tried to be nice and laughe
Can't put it down. My wife didn't even look up from her phone when I said it. That's how I know I've achieved peak dad joke status. She's immune now.
Today my son rolled his eyes when I said 'I'm not saying I invented the Dad joke, but I was there when the first one was born.' This is the happiest moment of my life. My 9 year ol
My 3 year old knocked over her entire yogurt container at breakfast and it went EVERYWHERE. On the floor, her clothes, the dog, everywhere. Without thinking I said 'Well that's wha
I looked in the mirror today and realized I'm wearing khaki shorts, a polo shirt, New Balance sneakers, and white socks pulled up. I look exactly like my own dad did. The transform
You know that moment when your kid finally falls asleep in the car and you're trying SO hard not to make any noise? I literally drove 45 minutes the long way home yesterday to keep
Caught myself saying 'we're not paying for the air conditioning' while my kids had the garage door open. Then I laughed at my own statement for like 5 minutes. My son just stared a
My daughter said she didn't want to go to school today. I said 'Well, I didn't want to get out of bed this morning but here we are.' My wife was NOT amused. She said I'm teaching h
I told him I was looking for a job. He said 'But dad you already have a job, you're my dad.' Tried not to cry in the cereal aisle.
I told him I was just checking if there were any dad jokes in there. He said 'Dad, that's not how this works.' I said 'I know son, but I'm still going to read them anyway.' His eye
My 6yo pointed at a box of Froot Loops and asked 'Dad why do they call it that?' I said 'Because they're fruity shaped loops obviously.' He goes 'No dad, why do they call it Froot
Why is the sky blue? Why do we have toes? Why do dogs have four legs? Why can't I eat ice cream for dinner? At some point I just started making up answers. Yesterday I told my kid
He walks up to me totally serious and says 'Dad why did the chicken go to school?' I'm like 'why?' and he goes 'Because it wanted to get smarter!' Then he just walks away laughing
I've been running out of material and need some fresh ones. My kids have heard all my classics about knock knock jokes and the 'this guy walks into a bar' setup. What are your reli
We're at the grocery store and my 9 year old says she's thirsty. I look right at her and say 'Hi Thirsty, I'm Dad.' The cashier actually laughed but my daughter looked at me like I
I told him I was looking for the chapter on how to be a good dad. He said 'Dad those are just cereal box directions.' I guess that explains a lot about my parenting so far.