The great cereal debate
My 6 year old asked me if cereal is soup. I said no. My wife said yes. Now we're not talking and my kid thinks I'm an idiot. Pretty sure I lost that one. Anyone else have their ent
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
681 threads
My 6 year old asked me if cereal is soup. I said no. My wife said yes. Now we're not talking and my kid thinks I'm an idiot. Pretty sure I lost that one. Anyone else have their ent
Caught a full glass of orange juice mid-air at the dinner table yesterday. Everyone cheered. Then I realized I was just dodging it and it spilled all over my lap instead. Still got
I said I was fixing things. She said you're just standing there looking at tools. She's not wrong but I'm still calling it work. The contemplation phase is crucial to any project e
Asked him why he wasn't using milk. He said he likes the crunch better. I respect the commitment to texture even if it makes me uncomfortable. Later I found him passed out on the c
He asked me if I was leaving forever. I said yeah probably man. He got real quiet and then asked if he could come. I told him someone had to stay and watch his mom. He laughed. I t
I told him I like to keep things consistent. He said that wasn't funny. I said neither is your sense of humor yet, you're only 6. He didn't get it but I got a laugh out of myself w
Doing laundry and found a small rock, two bottle caps, a piece of string, and what I think used to be a sandwich in my son's cargo pants pocket. The fact that he felt the need to s
My 4 year old tried to tell me he needs exactly 7 more minutes of play time before bed because he's 'still 3 in kid minutes'. When I said no he goes 'Dad that's not very math of yo
Watched my kids pretend to be secret agents for two hours straight yesterday. They had hand signals, code names, a whole base set up in the living room. At one point my 5 year old
So my 6 year old knocked on the bathroom door while I was belting out some terrible rendition of Bon Jovi. He goes 'Dad why are you yelling at the water'. I told him I was singing
At his soccer game last weekend he told some kid that he was reading a book on anti-gravity and he couldn't put it down. That's MY joke. I taught him too well. The other parents la
She asked why the sun goes to sleep every night. I told her it gets tired just like she does. Then she goes, 'But Daddy, if the sun is tired, how come it never takes naps?' I had n
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. My 6yo groaned but then spent the next hour making variations of it. Pretty sure that means I've won at
Yesterday I found myself standing in the kitchen saying 'Please stop using the cat as a sled' with the same tired tone I probably use for everything else now. Then today my son ask
An nap-sack
My 4 year old spilled juice all over himself and looked at me dead serious and said "I think I'm gonna need a new body now." So I told him they're out of stock at the store. He bel
I told him it's genetic. He didn't laugh at that one either.
Tell a joke, kids groan, wife rolls her eyes, you feel 10 feet tall. I made a joke about my wife's cooking being hot yesterday and got all three reactions. Literally made my whole
Changed my newborn this morning and apparently all the laws of physics don't apply to baby poop. Got it on my shirt, my jeans, and somehow on the ceiling fan. My wife walked in and
So I told my son 'you're driving me crazy' and he goes 'good thing you're already parked in the driveway.' I just sat there. That's my material. He's weaponizing my own jokes again