Why did the scarecrow win an award
Because he was outstanding in his field! Just told this to my 7yo and he groaned so hard I thought he'd hurt himself. That groan is basically a hug at this point. I'm convinced my
DDante J.196 views
25
Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
890 threads
Because he was outstanding in his field! Just told this to my 7yo and he groaned so hard I thought he'd hurt himself. That groan is basically a hug at this point. I'm convinced my
Like how you can be dead tired but the moment the kids go to bed you get a second wind at 9pm. Or how a 2 hour 'quick trip' to get one item at Target somehow costs $80. And that sp
We were at the grocery store and he points at the eggs and goes 'Dad why do we eat chicken periods?' I nearly lost it in the produce section. His mom was mortified but I was so pro
I'm a dad with a dad joke problem. My kid asked me why I always have to make everything a joke and I said 'Because laughter is the best medicine and you kids need vitamins.' He did
Picked up a dad joke book at Target yesterday and I've already read through half of it. My wife walked past me reading it and literally said 'Please don't.' I told her 'I'm on a ro
Told this one at breakfast and got two simultaneous eye rolls. My 8 year old said 'Please stop' before I even finished. But I noticed my 4 year old laughed which means I still got
Was telling my usual dad jokes at dinner last night and my son just stared at me and said 'Dad these aren't even that funny.' His mom tried not to laugh. I said 'Well I think you'r
Because apparently that's the only way to stop me from making puns during family movie night. She sprayed me THREE times during Minions. THREE TIMES. I was just trying to say the b
So I'm making breakfast and my 7 year old says 'Dad why do you always burn the toast?' and I go 'I like it crispy' and he says 'You like everything crispy. Your jokes, your cooking
My kids were arguing about whose turn it was to pick a movie and I said 'I don't care which one you pick, but you need to make a decision. I'm not trying to frame you for it.' Dead
I told him I was just checking to make sure I assembled him correctly. He did NOT find that funny but I'm still laughing.
Walked past the produce section and said 'lettuce go get some milk' to my 6 year old. She groaned so hard I thought she'd pulled a muscle. Mission accomplished.
He said 'I want the red cup' and just walked away. Pretty sure this is how it's gonna be for the next 18 years. Anyone else's kids do this or is mine just built different?
I told him he couldn't have candy before dinner and he said 'Dad you're not the boss of me, Mom is the boss of you.' Kid's not wrong and I've never felt more defeated in my life. R
Ref called a penalty kick and I yelled 'That's a KICK move!' Everyone groaned including my own kids. Worth it though. The dad next to me actually laughed which counts as a W in my
So now I'm 50% underwater when I give the kids baths. Pretty sure that's not what she meant but the kids think it's hilarious.
I told him because he was born 9 months after I went the distance with your mom. He's 7 and doesn't get it yet but I'm waiting for the day he does.
Was at the store with my 4yo and he asked why we needed milk. I said 'Because we ran out at home.' He goes 'But dad, can't you just make more?' I said 'Yeah buddy, I'll just print
Told my kids this joke at breakfast this morning. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly! They both just looked at me like I had three heads. My wife didn't e
Kid walks in while I'm in the bathroom and asks what I'm doing. I say 'I'm reading.' He says 'reading what?' and I say 'The owner's manual, I lost the instructions for this part.'