My son caught me mid-joke yesterday
He walked into the kitchen while I was telling my wife about our new vacuum. I said "well, it really sucks". My son just looked at me and said "Dad that's not even a joke, that's j
MMark T.169 views
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Your best (worst) dad jokes, funny parenting moments, and things only dads understand.
955 threads
He walked into the kitchen while I was telling my wife about our new vacuum. I said "well, it really sucks". My son just looked at me and said "Dad that's not even a joke, that's j
So I'm at the store with my 6 year old and she's asking for cereal. I point at the shelf and say "That one looks SUPER". She stares at me. My wife later told me the other parents w
I told him it's because I'm a father figure. He groaned so hard I thought he pulled something.
My 4yo asked me why the sun goes down at night. I told him it gets tired. He looked at me dead serious and said 'But dad, if it's tired it should go to bed, not down.' I can't even
I caught myself making a pun about my kid's breakfast cereal this morning and actually laughing at my own joke. My wife just stared at me. I think this is what happens when you bec
Been home with my 2yo for paternity leave and let me tell you, I've made approximately 847 jokes about diapers that nobody laughs at except me. My wife threatens me every time. But
Wife was mad about something I forgot. I said 'Hey, what's the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates.' She rolled her eyes so hard I thought they'd get stuck b
Been waiting for this moment for years. Made a joke about rectangles having the most corners and my 9 year old actually laughed instead of groaning. My wife looked shocked. This is
I told him it's because laughter is the best medicine. He said 'Dad, you're not a doctor.' I said 'Exactly, that's why I have to resort to jokes.' He groaned so hard I think he pul
He walked in on me eating the last cookie and I panicked so I said 'The cookie monster must have gotten confused about which house to visit.' He just stared at me and said 'Dad you
This is both the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me. He's been doing them nonstop for three days straight. We're at the dinner table, at the store, in the car. My wife
Took my 6 year old to the store today and he loudly asked why the lady in front of us had a big belly. I died. She turned around and I just stood there like a statue while he kept
My kids groan at my jokes which means I'm doing something right. Hit them with a good one at breakfast this morning and my 8 year old actually said 'that's so bad it's good.' I con
I told her I was reading a book about anti-gravity the other day and I couldn't put it down. She stared at me for like 5 seconds and then said "Dad that's not even a real problem."
I just stepped on a hidden lego brick at 2am going to check on my kid and I swear I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. The silent scream. The hopping on one foot in the dark
It got mugged. My son rolled his eyes so hard I thought they might get stuck. Still laughing about it though.
My 4 year old comes running out of the bathroom yelling "DAD I NEED HELP" so I rush in thinking something's wrong. Nope. He just wanted me to witness him flushing the toilet becaus
Because he was outstanding in his field. My 6 year old told me this one yesterday and actually laughed at his own joke for like two minutes straight. That's when I knew I was raisi
I said no why and she goes because you're always in the garden looking like you don't know what you're doing. Fair point. Also she's 8 and already has better comedic timing than me
My newborn decided to detonate what I can only describe as a biological weapon at 6am while I was changing him. Went EVERYWHERE. Up the back, down the legs, somehow on the wall beh