How life changed since becoming a dad. Identity shifts, things you miss, things you gained, the transformation of fatherhood.
550 threads
Not gonna get too deep into it but I was drinking way too much. Beer most nights, whiskey on weekends, you know the type. My kid asked me one morning why I was sleeping in the car
I was that guy in the suit commuting 90 minutes each way, missing everything. My son's baseball games, school pickups, all of it. Had the title, had the salary, but I was miserable
So I made the jump 2 years ago. Wife was making way more money at her job so it made financial sense for me to stay home with our two kids instead of paying for childcare. Honestly
Had a health scare about 3 years ago and my doc basically said get moving or you're heading for trouble. Started going to the gym just to avoid thinking about medical stuff. Now I
Was grinding 60 hour weeks, always on calls, missed a lot. Decided to step back to 3 days a week in the office so I could be more present. Lost some income and status I guess, but
I'm 38 and I don't even know who I am anymore outside of being a dad. I was the guy who knew about music and movies and had interesting thoughts. Now I can tell you which dinosaur
Dated my girlfriend for 3 years, got serious, suddenly I'm sharing a house with her two kids ages 6 and 9. Lost my man cave, my freedom, my ability to just grab beer and go out whe
Used to stay up until 2-3am gaming and watching videos. Now I'm up at 5am without an alarm because my 2 year old decided that's breakfast time. Honestly I miss the silence and the
Started the journey thinking weight loss would fix everything. Lost the weight, look better, feel physically stronger, but the depression is still there. Turns out I was using food
Used to be the guy who drank every night, thought it was normal. Now I'm the guy who actually remembers bedtime with his kids. Marriage got better, not overnight but steady. Lost s
Left my tech job in 2022 making 180k and honestly it's been wild. I miss the paycheck and the identity thing, like I used to introduce myself by my title and now I'm just... the gu
Left my marriage after 8 years last year. Was so scared of being a "divorced dad" and what people would think. But man, my kids are happier when I'm not miserable all the time. My
Six years ago I was 280 pounds, didn't leave the house much, spent my nights gaming and drinking beer. My kids were born and I just... woke up one day and realized I was missing ev
Got laid off from my corporate job after 12 years. Thought my whole identity was gone. Turns out I hated that job anyway, I was just scared. Spent 6 months freelancing and figuring
Used to be the guy at every party, always had a beer in my hand, couldn't say no to anything. I missed my oldest's first day of kindergarten because I was too hungover. My wife gav
Got divorced three years ago and it was the hardest thing I've ever been through. For a while I thought my life was over, my kids would resent me, I was a failure. But going throug
Three years ago I was 280 pounds, couldn't walk up stairs without getting winded, and my doctor told me I was heading for a heart attack. My kids were embarrassed that I couldn't p
I was on track to make partner at my firm. 60-70 hour weeks, constant travel, missing my kids's stuff. When my second son was born I was in a deposition instead of the hospital. T
So I was that guy who spent every free weekend hiking, traveling abroad, living out of a van for months at a time. Zero responsibilities, just me and the open road. My friends thou
Before kids I was hitting the gym 5 days a week, meal prepping, had a six pack. It was my thing, my identity for like 15 years. Now with three kids under 8, I'm lucky if I get to t