From workaholic dad to actually present dad
Honestly I used to define myself by my job title. Made excuses about providing, about being the financial backbone. Truth is I was hiding behind work. My kids barely knew me. My wi
MMatt D.203 views
26
How life changed since becoming a dad. Identity shifts, things you miss, things you gained, the transformation of fatherhood.
553 threads
Honestly I used to define myself by my job title. Made excuses about providing, about being the financial backbone. Truth is I was hiding behind work. My kids barely knew me. My wi
Spent 15 years climbing the ladder. Made good money, hated my life. Missed soccer games, forgot my kids names at dinner because I was thinking about work. Had a breakdown at 42 and
Started at 245, down to 180 now. Changed my diet, hit the gym 4 days a week, whole thing. The physical part is done, feels amazing, clothes fit better, my back doesn't hurt anymore
Had full custody but lost it after a DUI and couple other incidents. My ex fought tooth and nail to keep me from the kids, which I deserved honestly. Went to rehab, got sober, been
My wife got a job offer she couldn't pass up so we flipped things. I'm the one doing daycare, school pickups, cooking dinner, all of it. I miss my old job sometimes, the adult inte
Seriously. Used to just close a door for 5 minutes and have peace. Now there's always someone asking where I am or knocking asking if I'm coming out soon. Or just standing there wa
Every Friday night without fail. Closing time, knowing everything about everyone's business, making jokes that landed sometimes. Had a lot of freedom, no real responsibilities, cou
Like actually in shape. Went to the gym five days a week, ran on weekends, ate clean, looked decent. Then kid number one showed up and suddenly I'm at 230 with no gym membership an
I was kind of a selfish person before. Not intentionally cruel or anything just like, my time mattered more than other people's time. My plans were my plans. Then one day I'm holdi
5 years ago I was making 6 figures, never home before 8pm, kids barely knew me. Got laid off and honestly? Best thing that happened. Took a job that pays half but I'm home by 5:30.
Lost 80 lbs and got back into CrossFit after my second kid was born. Used to be too tired to play with the boys properly. Now I'm running around the yard with them, not wheezing af
Been sober 18 months. Won't get into all of it but I was a mess for years. Missed school plays, soccer games, had angry outbursts. The worst part was the shame. Now my oldest actua
Grew up with a distant father. Swore I'd be different and I actually followed through. Changed diapers, did bedtimes, coached soccer, everything. Sometimes I miss the freedom of my
I was that guy grinding 60 hour weeks, thinking I'd make partner by 40. Defined myself by my job title. Then my oldest was born and something just clicked. I realized I was so focu
So I'm 38 now and my kids are 6 and 4. Before kids I was that guy who'd hit up bars Thursday through Sunday, sleep til noon, road trips whenever. Could just grab my buddies and go.
Before I had kids I was fit but it was all vanity. Beach bod for dating, gym as social thing. Then my daughter was born and suddenly I wasn't thinking about how I looked. I was thi
Ten years ago I was the guy who went out every weekend, slept till noon on Sundays, bought whatever I wanted. Had a kid at 25 and everything shifted. Now I'm that dad in the grocer
Been a parent for 5 years now and I'm feeling reflective. What I miss: sleeping past 6am, finishing a conversation with my wife without interruption, spontaneity, clean clothes, ha
This will be 3 years sober next month. I got help after my wife said she was done. I was missing my kids growing up because I was checked out. Being present is still new to me but
Spent 15 years climbing a ladder in finance. Made great money, hated myself. Woke up at 42 and realized I didn't know my kids and my wife was basically a stranger. Quit my job, too